Fat fingers

I'm not sure if I can an answer to this maybe bazar question, but its been doggin me since I picked up a guitar 2 months ago. I've been having problems playing clean chords because of my large fingers.
Its hard to get my fingers on one string at a time. Seems like I'm always touching the next string.
I've been focusing on riffs and leads because of it. So I'm progressing slower with my chords. Short of putting my hands on a diet?

I also Have a second question about relaxing while practicing guitar. I seem to stiffin right up while playing. It seems like my shoulders give out well before the rest of my body. I've tried spending 1/2 hour at a time with breaks, siting differently. I try to pay attention to relaxing but I loose track on what
I'm playing. I tried a couple drinks to take the edge off. I thought I was playing great. Then my wife came down stairs and told me to use the head phones. She said it sounded like the first day I brought the guitar and amp home.

Has anyone have either problem?
Any help would be great

Hi again Arnie!

Thx for the mail!

Randy Risque posted this elsewhere in this group. and this is very good!

Things I wish I knew when I started!
1) Get whatever strings are cheapest and feel the best on your fingers.
Don't give in to the macho wannabe tone gods. Even the slinkiest strings will sound better than you for quite a while!

2) Buy the best gear you can reasonably afford, even if you think you might not stick with it. First of all, if you DO stick with it, you shouldn't have to replace your gear. Second, a $250 guitar will sell for about $125 used. A $500 guitar will sell for about $375 used Either way you lose $125. Might as well have bought and enjoyed the better one! (Of course, even better is buying a quality used guitar, which will likely go up in value). For one caveat, see #7.

3) Find something to work on, and stick with it. Don't jump from book to book trying to find the optimal path to improvement. There is only one path -- practice. It matters more that you practice consistantly.

4) You will alway suck -- at least in comparison to someone. Accept this and don't feel bashful or embarassed by your level of playing. Folks with deragatory attitudes should be dismissed without question. There are lots of folks at just about your level, no matter what it is.

5) Don't skip over material because it seems "too simple". The devil is in the details. You don't need to sound like your instructor or the album to move on to the next thing, but you better not be "almost" getting the rhythm, fingering, chord etc. If it is a major hurdle, work on something else as well while you are waiting for the dexterity or strenght or calouses to form. Once you've got it pat, then move on.

6) Mix work with fun. Too much work and you get discouraged and give up. Too much fun (playing things you already do well, or just goofing around) will guarantee you don't progress.

7) Your equipment (guitar/amp/cable/effect/etc) isn't the problem. Have a good guitarist play your stuff if you don't believe it. That time you were going to spend shopping for the ultimate upgrade would better be spent practicing, and the money would be better spent on lessons. Today's guitars are incredible values compared to the past.

8) Play with other humans. Take lessons. Find someone to play with. Form a band. This will give you the motivation to practice, and an opportunity to have fun.

9) Your fngers and hands will someday be able to play that chord, make that stretch, perform that lick etc. Somewhere there is someone with a bigger/smaller/fatter/thinner hand than you who is doing it just fine. It takes time to develop the manual skills. Often much more time than it takes to understand. Keep at it. Don't kill yourself. Work on it a little every day, but don't dwell on it.

10) Enjoy yourself. This isn't a job, it's an adventure!

By the way... You talked about buying a acoustic. A good idea too...
Switching between the guitars will also help you evolve your finger skills... I have a spanish acoustic, and the space between the strins is greater and the strings are fatter. And that's compared to both electric and western acoustic guitars. I've had it for approx. 12 years and that's what I started with... My brother who's never plays, says that the electric is easier to play... In my opinion only for certail styles...
Stuff like Stairway To Heaven, Led Zeppelin & Tears In Heaven, Eric Clapton, is easier for me to play on my spanish guitar than my electric. For Iron
Maiden, Metallica, Ozzy and stuff like that, I go for the electric...

Arnie, I'm not sure what kind of guitar you have, some guitas have wider necks (and wider spacing between the strings) than others. If you truly have abnormally thick fingers, you might want to look at different neck widths.

On the other hand, I have fairly medium sized fingers and they sure felt fatter than heck when I first started. I still get some overlap on certain chords, but my fingers are feeling thinner all the time now that
I'm practicing a lot.

Also check your thumb position, keeping it more towards the center of the back of the neck will make your fingertips more perpendicular to the fretboard. And be aware of whether or not your fingertips are running parallel to the strings. This can be tricky with some chords, for sure, but some things to stay aware of. And the other poster brings up a valid point about neck width.

As to your second question, yeah, I've been there.. go and record yourself drunk, while you're doing it you thing you're wailing away, then listen to it the next day for a good laugh. Are you stretching before you practice?
It's like any other exercise. Have you tried playing standing up? Are you using a strap? I even use a strap when sitting, I found that I was subconsciously working a lot to keep the guitar in position when I wasn't.
You might be hunching over it too much, maybe try sitting on a straight backed chair to be aware of your posture..

I'm a little over 6'6" and I have huge hands. I used to have similar troubles. Here's what I did. After a lot of frustration with electric guitars with tiny necks, I bought a nylon string single cut-away guitar with the traditional 2" nut. That solved my problems instantly.

After I'd been playing for awhile, I found that I could easily fret notes and chords on my Strat. It's all a matter of neuroplasticity. It may seem impossible to fret chords and do scale runs up and down the neck of the guitar in the beginning. However, if you just stick with it, it will eventually be effortless.

Another thing, once you've been playing a guitar with steel strings for awhile, the tips of your fingers will callus. That will make it easier to fret notes because the callused ends of your fingers won't flatten out as much as your soft novice fingers.

Three other things...

1. Many "metal" guitars (like jacksons) have wider flatter necks than your typical LPs and Strats.

2. A company called Warmouth makes bolt-on "superwide" necks for Strats that require no luthiery.

3. If all else fails, you can buy a 12 string guitar and string it with 6 strings.

Welcome to the forum, HooperXXX. I hope you will like it here

Thank you ever so much for all this information. I am sure many guitarists having large hands will find it informative.

Man, am I glad I stumbled across this site. I am a beginner, trying to teach myself to play by finding tabs online. There are days I feel like I must be the only one struggling through the learning process. I know a lot of really good guitar players and it seems so easy for them. Of course, I have to keep in mind that they have been playing for years.

Just reading about others' struggles and seeing the positive feedback people are giving inspires me to push on.

Thanks to everybody for sharing your stories and advice. Great stuff!